i'm a toys 'r ' us kid

"so... you don't drink...? like... at all...?

"oh... that's... good! good for you!"

so today, i had the pleasure of having a friend come over and visit me in my very far apt. it was especially nice to have someone visit because i'm crippled. so as we spoke, she mentioned how she was going to turn 21 soon. that surprised me, because i would never have guessed that she was younger than me. everything about her seems so much older. she was telling me about her relationship with her boyfriend, and how she almost lives with them, and her bf's family thinks they should get married. she's had multiple jobs, and has moved out of her house. 

i was talking to a "friend," who told me that her boyfriend had just proposed to her. that's the first person i've ever known to tell me that. Oklahoma sure is a crazy place. anyway. 

these are both people my age. it blows my mind how fast they're growing up. as i sit here and think about my own life, i notice how young i am. so many things that i do i do just to try and keep younger for that much longer... i've yet to ever have a real job, and have postponed the process of actually getting a job since the last summer for... quite some time.

the thought occured to me just a little while ago, about why i don't drink. there are plenty of reasons, actually. 

• i hated it whenever my dad would come home intoxicated and how much my mom would worry. i told myself i would never have my wife or my kids ever have to experience that. 
• i have a tendency to overdo things. i do everything in excess, which includes drinking normal beverages. i doubt that alcohol would be any different.
• also, self control is not quite a strong point...

but if i think about it, drinking is just another one of those "grown up things." marriage, drinking, having a job, these are all things that would just make me feel so much... 

...older... 

my brother asks why i'm always so giddy and when i will grow up. people often mistake him as the older one. Slim says that i could easily be the youngest or an only child. 

from Matthew 18

² Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. ³ Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. ⁴ So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven

what's the hurry to grow up? there's plenty of time to get married, have kids... grow old... that can always be something to look forward to, but the past or the present isn't coming back, right? i don't know. this is starting to sound cheesey... 

anyway. i don't know how child-like Jesus would consider me, but i definitely enjoy just living life... i'm enjoying this recession. well not "enjoying..." but i enjoy the fact that because of the recession there isn't the pressure for me to get a job. i enjoy the fact that because of Drexel's 230942347 98 year program i don't graduate for a while. i enjoy the fact that i'm quite single and won't be getting married for quite some time. i complain about all these things, but deep down, i truly love it! haha.